Monday, May 11, 2020

Self awareness ... Self acceptance ...

How is everyone doing? I do hope that you are finding time to connect with loved ones.

As I mentioned in a prior post, I am using this time to get to know my self better ... becoming more and more comfortable with who I am, working with the areas that need some attention. Self awareness is not always easy ... actually, rarely is it. It's takes patience, gentleness and courage to face ourselves.

You might ask, "why am I bringing this up?"

Well ... A few days ago, I came face to face with my imperfections. Some of you might not know but, I'm a perfectionist! I know, it comes as a total surprise to you! lol ... Not in an obsessive, compulsive sense, but more in a need to continuously improve upon myself; striving to become a better version of myself.

I set high standards for myself and work towards achieving those standards. I don't always succeed, but I learn from them. In my mind, it's really about what you are willing to live with. Can I live with that mistake in that quilt? Sometimes, it's a yes and sometimes it's time to take out the seam ripper!

I started a new knitting project. I needed something mindless, yet beautiful, to keep me occupied. I purchased the kit from my favourite yarn shop in Montreal, (Espace Tricot) on line of course, as the borders are closed. The pattern is called En Voyage by Espace Tricot and can be found on Ravelry ... It's a free pattern.

Photo from Espace Tricot
I began knitting, checking my work as I knitted along, making sure I was doing my cables properly...

It wasn't until I was into my second skein of yarn (that would be over 275 yards) that I noticed a mistake .... in the beginning of my project! I'm missing a cable row, making the V shorter than the others.

Well, as I looked at that mistake I started to tear up .... not from my having noticed my mistake so far up into my work, but from a position of total acceptance ... completely surrendering to my imperfections! It was such a wonderful feeling ... so liberating!

After I finished savouring the moment, I thought about unravelling my work to correct my mistake ... which would not have a been a big deal for me .... but I chose to leave it as is, serving as a joyful reminder of this beautiful moment of total surrounding.

I am now five (5) skeins into the project ... and just loving how it's turning out.

I'm using Scout yarn by Kelbourne in Charcoal Heather. I love that yarn and am planning on knitting another shawl in Navy Heather for someone special! ;)

What have you been up to?

Thank you for stopping my little corner in cyber space! Stay safe and healthy, both emotionally and physically.



WoolenSails said...

We are so alike in that respect and I have learned not to fuss over things. Some things I can live with and if it bugs me, I fix it, but most of my work in imperfect, but usually only I know it;) I think it is beautiful and I would never have noticed if you hadn't told me.


Thimbleanna said...

Wow -- it's beautiful! I can't really even see the mistake from here -- would never have noticed it!

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